Malak,

Can you hear me from your safe space? I hope you can. Sitting atop your ivory tower, pointing the finger at everyone… telling us what we do wrong, how we continually hurt you and how you are the victim here. Always the victim.

I was once like you, misguided and ignorant. But what did I receive, exactly? I received a Deacon ass kicking and a Pat Cassidy/Trashcan Tim humbling in the middle of the ring after a round of karaoke went bad.

You’re familiar with Pat too, no?

I even received the thought of winning the FIST of DEFIANCE vs. mIkEy UnLiKeLy but had it ripped outta my hands at the last possible second.

Some may say I have you to thank for clarifying how self-centered I was.

Well, all of these things happened and I hit rock bottom. Lost those matches and then some.

Lost the UNIFIED Tag Team Championships back to you.

Lost my brother to the darkside; we can never team again.

My Life Bar, depleted.

And there I was, picking up the pieces of a broken controller some say I have no business being the First Player in.

If you’ve been watching me (and I doubt you have), I was propositioned for a Better Future and stronger AI teammates. Although anyone with half a brain could tell these dudes were NPCs so I banned together with the greatest tag team of all time and a guy who thinks he’s a pirate, Dodgeball be damned.

We won.

Now I’m starting to collect more Lives and Level Up in the process. Which shifts my focus to you.

UNCUT 100. A DEFIANCE TV special.

Malak Garland vs. Conor Fuse.

Snowflake vs. Gamer.

What do ya say?

Actually, let me correct you: Why won’t you do it?

Dude, I’m not here to roast you with smacktalk. I just told you about MY struggles. Yes, I said you stand on your soapbox and point the finger at everyone. I assume that comment goes right over your head because you have no ability to critically assess yourself whatsoever.

So… why will you say no?

You can beat me, I’m just like you. We have accomplished the same things in DEFIANCE and you’ve done it in a much shorter time than this Armlock Aristocrat. When you try… when you actually try, Malak, you’re not a bad wrestler. Your new finisher, I TRIGGER, looks deadly.

I would love to Weapon Get it from you, winky face.

You can’t Play your Game and not expect to Die once or twice. I guess the saying is “you can’t have your cake and eat it, too” but I prefer gaming metaphors.

In fact, I want you to know ME coming to YOU is a courtesy. I could simply ask the Favored Saints. Word is they want to make UNCUT 100 BIG.

This gives you anxiety, I know.

Listen, I will provide the necessities. I’ll make sure you have your sensory deprivation pod. You can have unlimited access to it 24 hours before our match. It’ll be in your locker room. I’ll tell Cyrus and Teresa to wait on you hand and foot. Of course, I won’t speak to Teresa directly, that stunned cunt is unstable AF. I’ll make sure your locker room lights are tinted for harmony, specialized air fresheners hang from the ceiling for soothing aromas and numerous counsellors are on hand to debrief with you IMMEDIATELY after the match is over. Hey, they don’t call me the Locker Room Leader for nothing.

I will give you everything you need before and after the bell.

I can’t promise much in the middle… but you will be as protected as possible outside of the ring ropes.

Say yes, Malak. Don’t make me go above you.

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Well, other than your Paper Championship. I’d require it to be on the line.

You know I made that thing, right? Yeah, gave it to Dex when my brother destroyed the real Southern Heritage Title. You also know it’s meaningless, eh? The connotation PAPER Champion is a joke AT you, not a joke alongside you. It means no one thinks you’re actually credible.

Come show you’re credible; beat me a second time. It will only give you more notoriety, too. Don’t you want to tell even MORE people how you’re the victim? Win or lose, I’m sure as shit you can spin the narrative.

I will welcome you with open arms. We can hug it out. You can feel how I felt for the past three months. It’s a fun spot to be in, please join me down here.

Because when you’re this low nothing can hurt you, invade your safe space or bring you anxiety.

I would know. I assume you’d have a taste too, considering your MAXDEF outcome.

At least you have that piece of paper to fall back on.

Be very careful, though. While your paper might beat my rock bottom, papercuts are deadly. Let me hold onto it for you instead. I have your best interest in mind.

Trust me.

Whatever could go wrong?

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