Title: I'm thankful for...
Featuring: The Untouchables
Date: 11/22/2012
Location: Jeff's house

“What are you thankful for?”

[Fade up.]

[A long table is covered in sumptuous Thanksgiving food.]

[Two turkeys, surrounded with citrus fruits and cranberries, and a ham studded with pineapple rings and maraschino cherries make up the centerpiece.  Surrounding them are all sorts of delicious things.  A bowl heaped with mashed potatoes and a gravy boat filled with brown gravy, a plate of sweet potato casserole with whipped marshmallow topping, a bowl of greens, roasted potatoes and squash, cranberry sauce, cranberry relish, at least five different kinds of pie, and no goddamn broccoli or green bean casserole anywhere in sight.]

Jeff Andrews:
Me, I’m thankful for a lot of things.

[Jeff Andrews is ensconced in an armchair that looks more like a throne, with heavy armrests and a high wooden back with intricate carvings.  He’s wearing an unremarkable shirt, and most importantly, his green and yellow mesh John Deere trucker’s cap.]

Andrews:
For starters, I’m thankful that I figured out something that has eluded my erstwhile former compatriot in Defiance management.  Associates, endentured servants and bootlickers alike are nowhere nearly as valuable as friends.

[Fade back, just a bit.]

[Heidi Christenson is sitting at Jeff’s right hand, wearing a little black dress.  Next to her is Kai Scott, and across from them is Ronnie Long.]

Andrews:
I’m thankful that Eric Dane pushed me to get involved in the Ultratitle.  Even if it ended early because I came down with a stomach virus, it opened my eyes to some truths about the wrestling world I’d always been aware of, but… turned a blind eye to.

[Heidi produces an electric knife from somewhere and sets to work carving one of the turkeys.  Jeff is handed a plate loaded with a turkey drumstick and assorted side dishes.]

Andrews:
I’m thankful that when I said that I wanted to do something for me, for once, that I had friends who weren’t just for it, but who gladly offered to help.

[Andrews pours himself a mug of mead.  Holding it in one hand and the drumstick in the other, he resembles a barbarian king – if barbarian kings wore truckers’ caps instead of crowns made out of antlers.]

Andrews:
I’m thankful that Eric remained as conceited as he always does.  His lack of interest in his own wrestling promotion made everything I had to do so much easier.

[A huge bite is taken from the drumstick. A bit of bone is removed from his teeth and discarded.]

Andrews:
But then, don’t we all have a lot to be thankful for?

[Kai and Heidi both laugh.]

Long:
I’m thankful for getting the chance to work for Defiance without… working for Defiance.  Because, seriously.  Fuck everything Defiance stands for. Or should I say, stood for.

Scott:
I’m thankful for that piece of shit Rodgers who ran International Influence mistreating Claira.  If he hadn’t done that, I might still be attached to the nowhere-train that called itself the wifwah, I’dve never come to Defiance, I would’ve never solved the ESEN problem.

Heidi:
I’m just thankful that I got a chance to kick Tom Sawyer’s head off his shoulders.

[Andrews sets his food down, and puts his hands behind his head.]

Andrews:
And me, I’m especially thankful for what I’ve built over the years…

[Slow zoom out.]

[It’s not just the current Untouchables occupying the table.]

[Danny Vicious and Adam Delicious.  Brad Andrews and Gemma Lockhart.  And at the foot of the table, Chris Redpath, the man who founded the Untouchables back in 2001.]

Andrews:
I’m thankful for the friends I have at my side in the Defiance ring, and I’m thankful for the ones who maybe were a little too retired to come back, but still wanted to see the rest of us do our thing.

Heidi:
And I’m thankful that, now that you’re calling the shots, you can arrange yourself all the ring time you want to drop exposition on the oblivious dimwits that call themselves ‘defiants’.  

Andrews:
Oh yeah!  Well, screw promotime then – let’s eat!

[The Untouchables dig in.  Those turkeys and that ham don’t stand half a chance.]

[Happy Thanksgiving.]



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