I's gunna have me a busee week perty soon. I's gunna be in ole EPW wiff Teddy Al'xand'r goin atter them tag team titles from tha Amazin Drag'ns.

Now ole Teddy's jus like me. He's a big ole fella'at could pick up a truck but he's a mite crazy'r an me. He likes ta not let nary a soul get ta him. He jus a big ole bad man from'a Philly.

Now'em Amazin Drag'ns they must be sumptin spec'al. They tha EPW tag team champ'ons an won perty easy on tha last event. I ain't too worried bout'em thou, cause I dun beat a drag'n befer, he was a mite crazy though, an it ain't ta hard ta do I don rekon.

Then I gots me a fight wiff ole Cla'ra St. Sure. She gots sum tha pertiest skin I ever saw'd. I dunna if'n I really wanna rassle'er er if'n I'll jus lay down an give'er tha pin.

Who knows what I'll wind up'a doin.

~

Now Mr. Ellis sure dun ruin'd our Thanksginin dinner. We was havin a good ole time an all tha sudden he dun throwed'em biscuits at me. He sure weren't nice bout it.

If'n he'd let me be ma own man an do thangs ma way it would all work out jus fine. Then ge wont'd me ta be fr'ends wiff'em ole Untouch'bles. I ain't like'em. I like bein ma own fellar.

I'd rath'r be fr'ends wiff ole Tom Sawy'r an rush tha ring when'er its needed. Nah whah I meen?

But ole Mr. Ellis gots it in his ole mind'at I wanna be assoc'ated wiff Jeffy Andrews an ole Heidi Christ'nson. Howev'r'at ain't me. They's mean an disrespec'ful. They's like'at ole chewin gum ya gets on tha bottom of ya shoe when ya out on'a date er sumt'in like'at.

Mr. Ellis jus dunno anythin bout anythin. He thanks ole Tom is'a cult leader an I'm gunna be his ole sacr'ficial lamb bein led ta tha slaught'r. That jus ain't right. He jus don like Tom cause he thanks he's gunna make me lose money somehow. I jus don thank he's gunna make me lose nuttin. I thank ole Tom'll help me make sum money.

I rekon Tom'll help me out in Def'ance jus like ole Teddy Al'xand'r has dun in ole EPW in tha King of tha Cage, which we might be able ta win er at least tha EPW world tag team belts.

Thet'd be ma first title belt ev'r. I always wonted one but nev'r had'a chance ta really get at it. Howev'r I was perty close in tha tournament we had in Def'ance.

So ma tractor record ain't ta good in'ese tournaments.

~

So here we is, in'a few day I gots tha Amazin Drag'ns verse me an ole Teddy. Then atter'at I gots Cla'ra St. Sure. I dunno if'n its good er bad. It's one'em thangs that'll either kill me er make me into a big bad man.

Before all'at starts ta happen I'm gunna have ta try an see ole Kim before she break up wiff me. I dunno if'n I could take'at er not. That one fellar at tha rasslin show las week dun told me I had ma nose wide open. I tried wippin it but he said they weren't nary thang'ere an'at he meant I's in love wiff'er. I still don und'rstan but its whatev'r.

I hope Kim ain't ta mad'at me when she hears I'll be rasslin a woman as perty an fit as ole Cla'ra St. Sure. Kim's tha jel'us type an she ain't scared ta woman up at any time. As she said she'd smoth'r a ho wiff'er boobies. I really liked'at, she tried it on me a few times, it weren't nuttin but'at ole sex play, I perty was happy.

Anyway, I'mma jus hope I can win ma rasslin match's an keep Kim on tha un-jel'us side of thangs. If'n I cain't I could lose'er wiff'at Cla'ra match.

What's a good ole county boy ta do?

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