There I was lookin out tha winder and I seen it comin a mile away. It was Katrina revisit'd. Naw I kid it was jus a lil ole twister goin down tha road.

I looked over at ma maw and said, "Ya rekon that there twister'll do much damage."

Maw looked back at me an said, "Boy, don't even play like'at. Ya know we'll be fine long as we pray bout it. So go on now an pray."

Truth is I ain't feel like prayin just then so I jus shut ma eyes an pretended. Ya know a lil white lie kinda thang.

I couldn't lie to ma maw so I did pray a lil prayer. I said, bless us lord an protect tha town. It was short, sweet an to tha point.

After That I seen tha barn doors ah flappin' from tha wind i told maw I should go outch-yonder an try ta board'em doors up, but she said not ta do it now, jus' wait.

An our later.

I's bored outta ma mind. Tha tv was out. Tha pow'r was out. An tha only thang I coulda done was play wit ma tallywacker, an that ain't happenin' right now wit ma maw in tha same room. That'd jus' be plain nassy. Na matta how good it’da felt.

Here I go again wit tha nassy thankin that gets me ina worl uh hurt.

I shoulda be wondrin bout ma next rasslin show. Idunno where er when itsa gon happ'n. Mr. Ellis ain’t called me on tha telfone in a few weeks. Wonr where he be hidd'n at?

Ah, I be aight wit er witout'em. Well I’ma hopin so anyway.

Maw seen him at tha store few days back. He wasa buyin some them rubbers thatcha put on ya tallywacker fer when ya meetin a lady friend.

I rekon he gots a few of'm. I aint got narry an. I do got ole Kim down tha road a piece that'll show me her big ole boobies. She even lemme me rub and suck on'm a few times. Shes sa nice ta me.

Sumtime I wonr if'n she’d be ma gal, might jus ask'r next timma see'r.

Maw ain’t gonna prove of her but I will, specli if'n shesa showin’em boobies off ta me. I likes'm so.

I smiled big an blushed a lil bit.

"Maw I wonr if'n we had one'em fones wiffoutra cord if'n itta work righ now?"

Maw looked at me like I's a big ole dum dum an said. "Boy aintcha knowin thatcha need a cord ta make a fone call. Them thangs don relly work."

I knew shes wrong but I kep ma mouph shut causin she gots a mean ole righ hook, Shes a real brute ofa wom'n.

~

Ta days later.

I's outin tha filld an Mr. Ellis drived up in his new used car. He bought himma 1986 Chevy Corsica. It hadda dent on tha driver side goin down both dors. It wasa lil better than that old car we drived to Atlanta in.

"Boy, I gotcha a match. We's gotta be uh gettin on tha road though. Wells I reelly gotcha two matches. We's gon hafta go ta Wess Virginee then we goes back ta Defi'nce Rasslin. Are ya redta go?" Mr. Ellis said to Sam who was lugging hay-bails.

I stopped, turned round an had the mos inbred smile plassered on ma face.

"I rekon I can go. Lemee ask ma maw." Sam said as he dropped the hay-bails to the ground with a thud.

I took off a runnin as fas as ma flat feet would carry me. I leaped onta tha front porch and ran flat inta tha screen door stoppin in ma tracks howevr ma hands went through the screen.

"Maw! Hey maw!" He bellowed.

Maw ran down tha steps one loud thud at a time.

"Watcha wont boy?" She asked as she turned towards the door.

Then she saw it. She saw me pullin ma left arm out from the screen an tha gapin hole it left.

"Maw, Mr. Ellis says..." Sam stopped mid statement when he saw his mom reach for the broom.

Broom in han she took a batter stance.

Ma face was priceless. I knew a whoopin’ was a comin, but I ain’t wanna be on tha other side of tha swing.

"I gotta job, maw! I gotta job!" Sam yelled as he ran off the porch with his mom chasing him.

Swing, an a miss.

"Ya betta be uh fixin ma screen door ya big ole Shrek lookin thang!" She yelled as she gave chase.

Swing, an a miss.

~

Our latar affer maw calmed down she stopped chasin me wiff that ole broom.

Shewwee ma maw gots a meen ole backswing wiff that there broom. I rekon she'da took ma head cleen off if'n she connected.

An er Mr. Ellis wassa sittin in tha car an'a laffin his head off. If'n he wasn't a big waya me makin money I'da prolly jus drop'em lika bad hab't.

Oh wells, he seems ta be ma frind an'a he's nice nuff ta drove me all ov'r tha place ta rassle so I's can hepp out maw and paw wiffa bills.

"Boy, you'll never guess what kinda match I gotcha lined up in Defiance. It wasa triple threat till I gotcha booked then it turned inta a four way match against Lone Wolf, Dragon Jones and Johnny Hotrod." Mr. Ellis said wiffa smile revealin his jailed tongue.

I looked atum wiff a worried look on ma face. "I'ma rassle phree people on ma first night back? Is ya sereus Mr. Ellis?"

Mr. Ellis was still smilin from ear to ear.

"Yea boy, i betchee win hans down too." Mr. Ellis said as he pulled a folded up piece of paper from tha back pocket of his’n stone warshed Faded Glory blue jeans. "Now sign this here paper boy."

"Uh, ya rekon I shoulda get ma maw ta look it over, ya know ta make it all legal like?" I knew he ain't care long as it signatured.

"Don't care do whatev ya think ya need ta do boy." Mr. Ellis replied. "Jus long as ya put ya John Hancock on tha paper."

So I went ahead and signatured it fer him as stupid as it seems.

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