Instead of being greeted by Eugene Dewey’s pitted and crated face, or Wayne Dewey’s lank, greasy hair, the feed opened with a wall of text that read:

“Sorry about the video guys I’ll hold the camera right next time! Directing isn’t exactly my strong point. I usually leave that up to Wayne, but I’ve hardly seen him in the last week. Anyway, please just bear with the side video. THANKS! ED”

It remained on screen slightly longer than necessary to read the entire thing before fading to be replaced by a sight equally as far out of left field, yet not unsurprising, a close up of a heavily freckled nose.

“Oh crap... how do I...?” Eugene muttered as the image flitted between eyes, cheeks, the nose and a mouth before zooming out to accommodate the entirety of Eugene Dewey’s head, sans jew-fro. One slight problem remained however, his head was on its side, making him look pretty much exactly like the emoticon ‘:-’ “There we go.”

Eugene cleared his throat before continuing, “Hey guys, Eugene Dewey here. Wayne’s still not talking to me, so it’s just me... Eugene Dewey... all alone...”

Eugene’s nerves started to get the better of his as he started to ramble, his bottom lip quivered and the camera shook in his hands.

“So...” He said nervously, his voice trembling like a pubescent boy about to touch his first breast, “My next match is against Nakita DuBov... Nakita DuBov...”

Eugene’s voice trailed off as he racked his brains for something to say about the next hurdle on his track to the Master Of Wrestling championship.

“Na... Ki.... Ta...”

“...”

“Du...”

“Bov...”

“Oh!” Eugene exclaimed as though he’d suddenly remembered something he’d thought of earlier, “Yeah, this next show, it’s in Casper. And that’s only like... two hours down the road or something, so I’m kind of like, in my home town or something. And apparently that matters in sports.”

That was followed up by another uncomfortable silence as Eugene bit his bottom lip and closed his eyes tightly. He strained to think of something, anything, which would pertain to his upcoming match with the Fem Phenom.

X-(

It was at that point he realised that he wasn’t straining to think of anything to say, he was simply failing to come up with something clever and witty like his brother would have him do. Almost in the blink of an eye Eugene relaxed, shook his head slightly and heaved a heavy sigh.

:-)

“I don’t have a thing to say about Nakita DuBov. Honestly, we’ve had pretty much no interaction since the start of this league. I don’t think we’ve even exchanged greetings in the hallway.” Eugene said, “So how can I have a problem with her? How can I sit here and say ‘I’m going to beat the snot out of you just because you’re there’? Because if I did that, wouldn’t I just be another Kengoro Sugamoto, Dan Ryan, Kevin Cage, or any of the other assholes in this business that are here because they just like to hurt people?”

“Nakita has never, ever, done anything to affect me in any way shape or form.” He continued, “All she’s ever done is be named as my opponent, and I’m supposed to talk about her as though she were my most storied rival? The Robotnik to my Sonic? The Bowser to my Mario? The Ken to my Ryu?”

:-S

“I don’t think so.”

Eugene shook his head and shrugged before mentally conceding one point, which he broadcast with a head tilt and a slight twinge of the right side of his face.

“But this is still a match, and there are still points on the line. Points that I’ve been missing out on the last couple of weeks. Points that I desperately want to win.” Said Eugene changing his tune slightly and becoming a little more serious, “I don’t like to lose, and I really don’t want to take a third straight loss.”

“So when I make that hundred odd mile trip down I-25 and step in the ring with Miss DuBov, remember one thing, not to mistake my lack of bloodlust for lack of enthusiasm. Because problem or no problem, Nakita, I’m coming to win.”
 

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