Welp, it looks yur ole 'Rednek Rekin Machine' is gunna be bizy in Pittsburgh, PA. I rekon I been ere befer but I ain't sure. I kindly feel like at ole song 'I been er'where man'. I'd kindly like ta go ta Japan one ese ole days, but at's prolly a few years away, but I doubt maw would want me ta go. I know ma cousin Jesse who loves at ole animaee...er animay er what'er at cartoon stuff is could talk maw inta lettin me go, but he'd hafta come too.

Now back ta Pittsburgh. I gotta face a new guy named Tucker G. Alson an en ay's a battle roy'l fee tha vacant Southern Her'tige title on tha pay per view, Untuch'ble. I'd rather be in tha battle roy'l than face Tucker. I don't rekon he's worth ma time.

Well, now we did lose ta tha Team Slown but it was a fluke at tha Good Fight loses, an at's tha whole truth.

It jus ain't like tha Good Fight ta lose a fight. I rekon ats one 'em oxymor'ns like 'em people hooked on 'em ole bad drugs. They be a shootin, a snortin an a swallerin 'em pills but ta each they own.

~

Back at Turner Manor, Sam sits at the computer searching the web fir basic wrestling attire. He's planning on not wrestling in those baggy and heavy overalls and wearing himself out so easily, which is what he's been doing as of late. So he thinks that a change of attire will help him not get so winded. Apparently he's never heard of cardio training.

"Maw, whatcha thank bout these 'ens?" Sam bellowed.

Susan walks from the kitchen and into the den, she gets behind Sam and leans over his shoulder to look at the screen.

"Those are awful skimpy Junior." She says with a slight giggle in her voice.

"Yea, I know but ats how all 'em wear 'em rasslin clothes. I rekon its fer tha ladies so they can check out e're butts an well, e're packages too." Sam said to his mom.

 "What? Yer package?" She thought of what he said she also blushed. "Samuel Thomas Turner Junior, how dare ya say 'at ta me again. I ought ta skin ya alive, I'll have ya hide befer days end." She said with a scowl. 

~

What's a good ole country boy to do? First his farmhand job was taken by Mr. Ellis's family and now he's possibly changing his ring attire. He hardly talks to Mr. Ellis anymore due to him scamming money from Sam. Now, Sam's on his own and in love with Kim, the chick that Harlan Co. thinks of as a real easy piece of tail or in Susan's words "she's looser an tha elastic band on a hundred year old pair of bloomers."

Now that he questions the possibility of an early retirement does that mean a country boy can't survive in the grueling world of pro wrestling or is he just destine to be a farmhand for the rest of his life?

The safe money is in not betting one way or another, but smart money isn't on retiring at 30.

More Propaganda | View Samuel Tiberius Turner the Second's Biography