Tha times is hard, we ain't in no depres'on but life is depresin at times. Money is becomin more scarse, jobs is lost daily due ta layoffs er firin's an nobody gots an edjacat'in...er so it seems 'at way.

Now tha only way ta do anythin is tha wrong er illegal way. We gots pe'ple stealin money an checks from pe'ple. Now we got 'em drug deala's killin tha youths by passin e're poison off ta 'em fer a price. Tha worst part is 'em crazy pe'ple 'at try ta make 'at stuff altern'te ways like 'at meth 'er shakin bake meth. Why can't 'ey jus buy a moonshine still, corn, yeast, barley, fruit er sum other stuff ta make good shine? 'At would put some bills in ya pockets jus as easy.

Anyway, now 'at I got 'at off ma chest I'm gunna tell ya what I thank of 'em oppon'ts comin up at Untouch'ble.

First up we gots Chance Von Crank, a fella Harlan Countyin. He ain't from tha best fam'ly, but he tries ta act worse 'an he really is. He's jus from a bad fam'ly 'an he's tha nicest one of 'em.

Drag'n Jones, who I beat is a fire breathin monst'r wiff bad breath. When he xhales his breath is so hot an ranc'd 'at its like mace 'an a taz'r all in one. He gots some bad funk 'ats fersure.

A well travel'd vet is Jeremy Knyte, who has a very interestin back story. 'Iss poor man was on high runnin a trainin place fer pe'ple, top notch pe'ple, fermer world champi'ns even. Then he hit a bump, poseti'n of illegal drugs, he's smart. Now atter bein released from jail he's here in Defi'nce lookin fer a new start, I rekon. I don really trust 'em ta much. I just thank he's tryin ta work his ole magic in Defi'nce an try ta use our money ta front a new drug venture. Once a doper always a doper.

As much of a head-case as he may be Lash Graham is a tough dude ta try ta get one over on. Dispite tha luck he had at beatin Drew Siler, he still wasn't beatin Claira St. Sure 'ats fersure. 'At crazy beat me wiff 'is ole move 'at I couldn't ever begin ta describe. Tha only thang 'at makes 'em all 'at good, is tha fact he had a injury an he seems dumber an me.

A fem fatal, Lisa Loeh, she's a fri'nd of Claira, well a trios tag partner an a semi tough chick. I hear'd under a few rasslers over tha years, I wouldn't mind her workin under er on top of me sometime, but don't tell Kim.

What an ole snake in tha grass we gots in Python. Sumbody needs ta take an ole hoe ta him an chop his head off. He's a former Mr. CAL, Mr. OLW, an a Mr. WfWA, sheesk, I rekon 'is boy don don it all an 'en some. He prolly sales hot dogs an beer while he rassles some poor ole unknowin soul. He's really a who's who mixed wiff loads of no ones if'n ya ask me...well he does know a lot more 'an me, which ain't sayin much, is it?

A martial artist at its finest is Sam Johnson. He's a high kick above tha rest. He kindly been round since tha early days of Jesus from what I been told, but 'ats a lie since he'snbew ta tha world of rasslin. I also hear's he gots a fine chick named Jeanie too. I wonder if she'd like ta be rednekaffied?

Now back on 'at ole Tu'ker G. Alst'n, my opponent at Retaliat'in. He's kinda like me right now, he's dirt poor. He failed at sumthin I'll never understand, Wall Street. I bet Mr. White could help him wiff 'at little er give him a job as his butler er yard boy. They could make tha ult'mate rassler named Alst'n White. He'd be tha whitest, richest, angriest an craziest money hungry man er'r. 'Ats if they both rode horseback in reverse.

Now tha team of tha Blood Di'monds ain't got nobody named fer our match jus yet. Blood Di'monds is packed wiff vicious talent an a rich ba'ker in Mr. White 'at can buy any'nes respect an self-worth. It really is sad how pe'ple will sale they soul fer a buck.

Tha Phil's'fer Kings is tha same way as Blood Di'mond, but theys so new 'at I dunno tha other two in tha group. I hear'd 'at Troy Matthews is spised ta be tha leader of 'em so ya know they's gone ta be sum tough sum guns, sadly fer me anyway.

Sheesk, 'ats a boat load if crazies in one ring. I rekon I best be gettin inta tha trainin part QUICK!

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