[Tres Brujas is supposed to be a team, but Lisa Loeh has her own agenda, and Diane Parker hates her.  So when Lisa decided to ignore the whole Claira St. Sure vs Dan Ryan match and consider her match against Jane Katze, Diane didn’t worry about her absence – she was just glad to be rid of her.]

Lisa:
There’s a few different ways we can do this, Jane.

[Warm weather means sundresses, and so Lisa’s got on a vivid blue number that, were this not PPV footage, would be pixilated at the waist.]

[Because it’s real short.]

Lisa:
One.  Do it exactly like everyone’s expecting.  You use your scissorholds. I gasp for breath and show off how flexible I am.  And then at some point, one of us does a better job cheating than the other and wins.

[Index finger raised.]

Lisa:
Two.  Forget the whole fanservice aspect and just have a brutal, hard hitting, gender barrier busting, awesome match.

Or, two-b, you try to have one of those and I say screw it and leave and you win by countout.

[Middle finger raised.]

Lisa:
Three.  We pretend to wrestle, then something goes wrong, and the fans don’t get the fanservice they want and we don’t have to hurt each other over something that doesn’t matter.

This won’t be a problem, because failing to deliver on promised fanservice is a time honored wrestling tradition.

[Ring finger raised.]

Lisa:
Four.  I can go get some private wrestling lessons from Ariel X, and see if I can get Defiance thrown off PPV and try to get you to thank me for it.

Bitch.

I mean, I’m not really that bi, so this one might require a lot of whiskey.  Or money.  So, Mr. White, and I assume you’re watching this, if you want to negotiate, call my cel.

[Pinky finger raised.]

Lisa:
Or a combination of the above.  Like maybe, I let you climb all over me and pretend to be helpless, and then you start showing off, and I roll you up for the win and run for the hills.

[Sparkly white smile.]

Lisa:
Oh, as for that Southern Heritage Title battle royal, I’ve got no intentions of getting within 100 feet of Chance Von Crank, Lash Graham or Sam Johnson.  See if you can guess the individual reasons!

[We’re done here.]

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