December 16th 2012

Day One

Eugene pulled the loose knit cap from his head and shook his hair out, flapping his chubby little cheeks around as he did so. The sight of a man the size and shape of Eugene drew a couple of chuckles from the already assembled group of comparatively beefy men and certifiably athletic women, which had to have gone unnoticed by Eugene, otherwise he’d have surely turned around and gone home right there.

Eugene stuffed his hat into his hoodie’s front pocket and shifted slowly to the back of the group, placing himself next to Tom Sawyer.

“Eugene?” Asked Tom, although he kept his eyes firmly fixed on the back of the head of the guy in front, “Where have you been?”

“I overslept.” Eugene whispered as he leaned in to Tom, “What have I missed?”

“Dude, shhh.” Tom hissed.

And he was right to, because Sergei Bogorovich turned back from whatever he was doing to face the group. “If I could have a volunteer...” He said as he craned his neck to look to the back of the group, clearly he had one in mind already. “Dewey.”

Everyone turned to face Eugene who was doing his best shrinking violet impression.

“Come, Mister Dewey. Time here is valuable.” Sergei beckoned fluidly, watching Eugene with those coldly staring, pale blue eyes.

Tom gave Eugene an encouraging nudge, “Go on, it won’t be that bad.” He whispered with a smile that Eugene fully bought into.

Pushing his way through the group Eugene emerged onto the padded floor and stood exactly where Sergei pointed him to.

“This, class, is a bodyslam.” Sergei said milliseconds before stepping forward and scooping up the unsuspecting Eugene. He turned him over with ease and slammed him down onto the floor. Making sure to add a little pepper to it before Dewey’s spine made contact with the thin padding.

“Nice and simple.” Sergei continued as he peeled Eugene off of the floor and hoisted him up again. He didn’t drop him straight away though, this time he held Eugene aloft facing down towards the ground. The ground that Eugene knew he’d be heading back to all too soon enough. “The key point here is making sure your opponents head is tucked in before completing the slam.”

Everyone in the group nodded as Sergei wrapped a hand around Eugene’s neck and slammed him hard into the mat again. “And do not forget...”

Another lift.

“Always lift correctly. Much more knees than back.” Sergei added, punctuating it with a third scoop slam that almost knocked Eugene out of his sneakers. The velocity of the last one also drove all the air from Eugene’s lungs and left him gasping for air on the floor.

“Now, I don’t expect any of you to replicate that” Seigi said as he looked down at the wheezing ginger mess on the floor, “So I want you to pair off and practice on each other. Give three, take three, give three, take three.”

Nobody needed telling twice. They all quickly paired off and spread out around the floor. Everyone except for Tom that was, who walked forwards and knelt down next to Eugene.

“You OK, Gene?” Tom asked as he placed a hand on Dewey’s shoulder.

Eugene couldn’t speak, but he did manage a painful nod.

“Jesus, man, why the hell would you turn up late? Do you know what you just did?” Tom asked as he pushed Eugene’s shoulders from behind and helped him to a seated position.

“I said, I overslept! And no? What did I just do?” Eugene exclaimed after finally catching his breath.

“That’s no excuse, man. What you just did was pass Sergei’s test.” Tom replied shaking his head,

Eugene took a moment to think, before forcing himself to his feet. “What test?”

“Eug’, while you were raiding last night, enjoying the ultra highspeed internet connection this place has, Sergei was leading people through a voluntary meditation session. The guy’s a Buddhist. Nonviolent, preaching that we are all one!” Eugene couldn’t look up at Tom, his hand was pressed to his back in still-remembered pain.

“So, what’s with the slams?”, Eugene finally managed. Something... Something wasn’t right.

“That was Wrestling Veteran Test One, man. He’s testing to see if you actually WANT to be here. Let me... Let me give you a theoretical situation.” Tom and Eugene stepped to the side of the mats, out of everyone’s way. “Imagine you’re one of the preeminent physical trainers in the United States, and you’re the owner of the most prestigious training facility for three time zones. You’re generously giving your time and energy to train anyone from a wrestling company you never even worked for, FOR FREE... And the only two guys to show up to the place from that company? One shows up to Day One late.”

Around the whole of the room were pairs slamming each other. There was no set rhythm to the thuds, but everyone was doing it at their own steady pace.

“Scoop slams are below 99% of the people here, but not one of them is saying a thing. They’re just getting on with it.” Tom continued, “And they’re getting on with it because they don’t want to end up being the practice dummy.”

Eugene looked down at the ground and pouted. “I didn’t realize.”

“And there’s none of that stuff either!” Tom said quickly, “The only attitude permitted here is a positive one.”

Eugene quickly tucked away his duck lips and heaved himself up to his feet.

“You’re not at home now, Eugene.” Tom said, “There’s no late starts here. There’s no slacking off. But if you stick with it, and you do everything Sergei, Adam, Kengoro, and Boston tell you, you’ll walk out of here a changed man.”

“Changed for the better though, right?” Eugene asked sounding unsure.

“That’s up to you. But here’s the thing... After Sergei slammed you, specifically trying to make you go home crying to Mommy?” Tom looked to Eugene hopefully, smiling as he waited for the guy to get it.

“I... I’m still here.” Eugene blinked, a burst of realization crowning over him. He looked up, down the mats’ length to where Sergei stood. And of course, Sergei was staring directly back at Eugene. The former Russian Superman, even though he was thirty feet away and couldn’t possibly hear, just nodded solemnly at Eugene.

“You’re still here. And that’s step one. Now let’s go see how easy it is for you to give me a scoop slam.”

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