Here we go's fell'rs. Its time ta get 'is thang goin an fer me ta win tha So'th'rn Her'tige title.

I knows 'ey all won't 'is title an pill poppin Chance wants ta keep it round his filthy waist. He's sa creepy 'at I feel dirtee atter tha match. I couldn't und'rstan what tha deal was. He was sa sticky and had a bad smell bouts him. I thank he was a smokin some 'at wacky baccy er what'er ya call it.

I jus cain't wait ta get ma hands on ole Chance er Tuck'r. I'd like ta choke tha life outta Tuck'r er maybe I'll fer'arm him in tha throat. Right in tha neck of 'at ole fermer prom king. I'll make him wish he was back in school tryin ta pick on all 'em kids. 'At stuff right 'ere ain't funny. Bein bullied jus ain't cool wiff me, I was bullied once. I brok'd his nose an he had six stitches under his eye. PS...I only hit him twice.

I thank ole Lash an me are gunna be good friends atter we go ta Chuck E. Cheese. He might not get as many coins er tokens which'er 'ey gots, due ta me tryin ta save tha farm. Eith'r way I rekon he's gunna be a happy lil fell'r.

Ya know tha funny thang bout all 'is, I'm tha senior Def'ance memb'r in 'is match. I dunno if'n y'all thank it is, but I gets a kick out of it. I'm ready ta throw down fell'rs. I'mma ready ta walk out tha Lakefront Arena as tha new So'th'rn Her'tige champ'on.

Since we's gunna be in Nawlens, I might stay a day er two if'n its close ta Mardi Gras. I wouldn't mind seein drunk chics showin 'ey boobies fer sum plastic beads. 'At one 'em thangs ev'r man awt ta see at least once in 'ey lives.

I may ev'n take Lash wiff me if'n I gets ta go. I'd hate fer him ta sprout a lil unexpected wood, if'n ya catch ma drift.

Now back ta Chance Von Crank.

Chance, I've know'd who ya was fer awhile now an I gots ta say, you do's Harlan County wrong 'ere mist'r. Ya peddle ya fam'ly's home grown and shak'n, not stirr'd pharmac'uticals, an ya killin all tha youth's in Harlan.

Why cain't ya jus earn money tha right an legal way? I'mma doin it tha legal way.

An I'll show ya how's ta do thangs tha legal way in 'at four way matchup. When I bring 'at title home, oww boy, we's gonna party like its 1999. So tha n'xt time ya see me, I'll be holdin 'at So'th'rn Her'tige title high up in tha air. I'll be a champ'on, finally.

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