Title: Gotta worry about yourself
Featuring: Diane Parker
Date: 6/23/13
Location: A gym somewhere or other

On DEFtv37, Tres Brujas won a Trios Tag Title shot, but on DEFtv38, they didn’t get it.  Instead, Claira wasn’t booked at all, Lisa wasn’t booked at all, and Diane was booked in a singles match at the bottom of the card.  

“Just because I heard a song on the radio, and got an idea for ring attire from it, now it’s a big deal.”

She was irritated.

And by the way, that’s how it happened.  Diane heard a song playing on the radio and was like ‘Hell yes, I finally have an idea for attire that isn’t dolphin shorts and a random T-shirt.’

“And I don’t know why YOU are getting so much attention lately.” Lisa sneered.

“I do my job. You just try too hard.” Diane snapped back. “Seriously, do you ever wonder why Claira and Heidi get more over than someone like Kelly Evans?”

“Like Kelly, I am smart, and unlike Kelly, I have plans and ambitions.” With a flounce in her step, Lisa walked out the door, leaving Diane to facepalm.

Claira had snapped a bootlace while practicing, and she was out looking for a backup, and this left Diane sitting alone in a gym.  It was an MMA gym, not a wrestling gym, and so the ring wasn’t set up for running laps or anything. A couple of generic MMA guys - skinny-ripped, shaved head, too many tattoos - were in it, throwing kicks at each other.

Diane (and Lisa) wouldn’t have been here, except for Claira having legitimate fight training and getting them in from it.

“So, d’you fight at all, or just pro wrestle?”

Another random guy with a shaved head and too many tattoos had come up beside Diane, but he looked friendly.

“I did some amateur wrestling in school, but it wasn’t really my sport.  I just thought I’d learn a little self-defense, and keep myself in shape over the winter. It was wrestling or basketball, you know, and so...”

“I hear ya. How’d you do?”

“Not so great, but not terrible.”

One thing about girls and wrestling is that especially on the high school level, if a girl makes the wrestling team, they do everything they can to hide the fact that she’s a girl.  Diane’s uniform went down to her knees, then she wore a chest protector and a T-shirt under her singlet, and then a special headguard to keep her hair in place. She might’ve been one of the hottest girls in a smalltown Vermont high school, but you’d have never noticed it under all the gear when she wrestled - just sayin’.

“I went something like 4 and 7, although I won 3 of my last 4 matches, but then those were against other people who didn’t really qualify to move up the ranks.  Coach asked me if I wanted to take the wrestling more seriously, but back then, I thought I was going to play soccer, so I didn’t.”

The fellow nodded.

“You never know.  Lotta guys around here don’t like pro wrestling. Me, I think of wrestling as to fighting as punk is to music.”

“Really? I would’ve compared wrestling to noise metal.”

He laughed. “Name’s Ben by the way.  So, didn’t Claira ever teach you to throw a roundhouse kick?”

“Nope. Wrestlers get weird about other wrestlers using each other’s moves, and there’s this girl named Heidi who’s real serious about her roundhouse kicks. Claira doesn’t have to care because she’s not scared of Heidi, but I’m...”

“Heidi’s a strange case because most promoters, wrestling or MMA, wouldn’t put someone like her in the ring, but you’ll never get better if you don’t step up to challenges. And your problem, and you’ve even talked about it before, is you’ve got take downs and high impact moves, but you don’t have much in between.  You need to learn to throw some kicks.  Especially roundhouse kicks.”

“Yeah, but... yeah.”

Ben kept it simple.  He showed Diane how to use one leg as a pivot, how to snap the other leg out, and how to strike with the instep and shinbone.

“You don’t want to be throwing high kicks unless you’re damn sure they’re going to land right, but you kick someone in the thigh like that often enough and their leg’ll start to go to sleep. Can’t believe Cito didn’t tell you that.”

“You know Cito?” Diane asked.

“Yeah, I’ve met him a few times.  He tells me that story about how one of the first things he does when he gets a new batch of trainees is to take his 110 pound girl and have her choke the biggest guy out with a front facelock, just to show how important the basics are.  That, and...”

Ben gestured across the gym. Lisa Loeh, to Diane’s complete lack of surprise, was lying on a bench press, with a group of 4 or 5 guys (they all looked so damn similar she wasn’t sure) arguing over who got to spot for her.

“There’s always one.” Ben said.

“Forget her.” Diane couldn’t help but scowl. “I only tolerate her because Eric Dane says I have to, but..”

“Maybe if you have a good fight this time, Dane’ll be more sympathetic about making you team with her.”

“I don’t think so. Dane and I get along just fine, but for some reason I don’t think he likes Claira.”

“That’s something she’ll have to worry about.  Look girl, if this is personal I apologize in advance, but sometimes you gotta let Claira be her and worry about being yourself. Cito didn’t teach you that cos he doesn’t know it himself - that’s why he’s trained a dozen World Champions and never held a single title. Let Claira worry about Eric Dane. You worry about Eddie Whisky.”



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