November 2014

A half empty bottle of Jack Daniels sits on the desk, top missing. To the right of it is a tumbler, filled halfway with a golden liquid. David, his eyes red from a night of drinking, has his right hand wrapped around the glass. He slowly lifts it and purses his lips just enough to allow the liquor to enter his mouth. The pain was definitely real. Between his re-introduction to the world, the mounting losses piling up at his feet, and seeing Mary-Lynn Mayweather in far too many years, every thought that crosses his mind is like a dagger stabbing him in the heart.

There is a vibration on the desk. As he looks over at the phone, the name ‘Andrea’ appears on the screen. 

“Fuck,” David mutters under his breath. He had changed his number four times in the last three months and sometimes, each time, his oldest sister managed to get the number and would leave him a half dozen voice messages before he threw the thing against the wall and had to get a new one.

Living in New Orleans did not mesh well with David. To be frank, the last thing he needed was to live in a city that promoted debauchery and drinking. The only place worse than this would be Las Vegas and needless to say, he wasn’t exactly welcomed back with open arms. Most days would see David head to the gym, work out for a few hours to the point that the liquor he consumed the previous night was seeping out of his pores, and then stumble around the streets until he could find a place to have a drink.

Another vibration. His dark brown eyes flicker over and he sees that Andrea has left a voicemail. His right hand grips tightly against the glass before he flings it into the nearby wall, shards of glass exploding and flying around the room. David curses under his breath again, his anger getting the best of him. It was what he did best at this point to be frank. 

Slowly, his eyes land upon a set of photographs, specifically of a little girl who is approximately just a few months old. Looking at the pictures, there are stain marks on them and they look a bit faded, which suggests they are a few years old at this point. With his left hand, he pulls one of the photos off the wall and he brings it closer to him.

“Alexandria,” he whispers to no one in particular. As he thinks about the date, he realizes that she will be celebrating her birthday in just a few days, 11/9. Her third to be exact. His heart breaks as he thinks about her and all of the pain he has been living with for the past few years takes over him. 

He stands up, unbalanced at first, but walks to the kitchen of his small apartment. He grabs another tumbler and returns to the desk where he angrily pours another glass full of liquid. Without hesitation, he grabs the glass and brings it back to his lips and takes a few sips before slamming it back onto the desk. 

David reaches over and grabs his phone. For a brief moment, he contemplates just flinging it into the wall as well, but he manages to stop himself. His fingers run over the screen until he finds the voicemail feature and taps on the just-left voicemail from his sister. A moment passes before her saccharine voices fills his apartment. 

“Hey David. It’s, um, Andrea. I’m not sure if you even listen to these messages when I leave them. I hope you are though. I hope you know that your family is still here for you, loves you. We know what you’ve been going through. Just know, none of it is your fault. You were lied to David. Philadelphia, she lied to you about Alexandria and we are all so sorry that you had your life ripped away from you with a simple lie. At the end of the day though David, you still have a family. And we want you here with us. No, David, we need you here with us. Gosh, I never thought I would say that. I need my brother, David. We all do. Just... call me back. Please.”

There is a moment of static and it sounds as if Andrea wants to say something else, but decides against it as there is a click heard. The message is no longer playing.

The words tear at him. She is right in so many ways. It wasn’t his fault that Philadelphia lied to him about Alexandria being his daughter. The truth of the matter though was that he loved that little girl and poured himself into being the best father he possibly could. He spent every minute he could with her and cherished her more than anything in his world.

They say that children always change your life and this couldn’t be more true with this little girl as he was able to give up everything, drinking and drugs, for six months before the truth ran over his face like a mack truck. 

Now, he had nothing left. He lost it all. His sisters. Alexandria. Mary-Lynn. He destroyed it all and he couldn’t figure out how to put it back together.

David reaches over and places the phone down on the desk. He then opens a drawer from the desk and pulls out a small plastic bag filled with cocaine. He takes out a few lines and places it on the desk. David sighs as he looks at the drugs, resigned to do anything to just make the pain go away.

Snort
Snort
Snort

With the back of his left hand, he wipes his nose before sitting down on the ratty couch behind him. Slowly, he thinks about all of his life mistakes, his demons, and as he does, his eyelids grow heavy. As he drifts off to sleep, he can only think about how one day, he would love nothing more than to straighten out his life.

One day.

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