Title: Doll Parts
Featuring: Chance Von Crank
Date: 1/4/2016
Location: New Orleans

Doll Parts

October 15th, 2015

Knoxville Comic Con


The convention center is packed with fans of everything and anything nerd. A power ranger past his prime walks past the shot while a batman that aged into voicing cartoons sits just across the way. Down from that booth sits none other than Chance Von Crank. Disgusted completely for giving these nerds even the slightest glimpse of the Shock N’ Rolla without a major payday. Chance watches the clock waiting for a check he needs to keep his trailer park. After signing autographs all day. he finds himself exhausted cashing in on a name that holds no real weight any longer.  

Haha. Aw, you’re too cute, Sugar.

The giggle nabs Crank’s attention. He quickly signs a headshot for a thirty something year old wearing a darth vader outfit. Crank then immediately adjusts his gaze towards the direction of the giggling. It came from the booth next to his. Pixie Paradoxx, a twenty nine year old recently retired pornstar. Famous for her curvy figure and oral skills. The poster next to her head also indicates she trains in MMA which intrigues Chance.

Yo, Trailer Park Prodigy!

Crank swings his head back around. The last person in his line holds up a Chance Von Crank trading card in a plastic sheath. The young man continues to talk at cVc.

This is the greatest moment of my life. Me and mom use to watch you every time we got the chance. She said I would never get to meet my idol. She wouldn’t believe this. Sadly, she just died.

Chance signs the card quickly, replying with a sly grin.

Good. I bet she killed herself right?

The young fan is shocked by Chance’s response. He replies,

Yes, how did you know?

Chance laughs, shaking his head as he stands up and leans in towards the young fan.

Go look in a mirror. If I had a warlock master living in my basement like you, I’d off myself too.

The young man begins to openly weep and runs off from the booth. Crank watches on laughing.

That real shit gets me wet.

Crank spins around in his chair suddenly, the raspy female voice sends chills down his spine. Pixie Paradoxx stands before him. Chance has nailed some nice looking women in his time but this hall of fame piece has him damn near slobbering. She continues..

The Harlan County Devil, in the flesh.

She licks her lips. Chance snaps out of it suddenly.

Yeah, I’m Chance Von Crank.

Pixie holds out her hand and Crank snatches it and gives it light kiss. She curls both arms back up towards her body almost hugging herself. The gesture has her completely flirty. She reaches back towards her table and retrieves a blow pop that's stuck to the table top. Pixie sticks it back in her mouth and twirls back towards Chance.

I know who you are. I am Pixie Paradoxx. I’ve actually been looking for you, believe it or not.

Chance is confused by the statement. Why would this hot hot whore, be looking for him? He inquires further.


Pixie crawls up on his lap and wraps both arms around his neck. Fans passing by begin taking pictures of the two. She gets a handful of his mullet and pushes his head towards her huge bust. Pixie holds his head in place firm by the back of his head while stroking the side of his face. Chance has no idea what to do.

I had a dream about you…. In that dream we changed the world. I found you at comicon just like this, right now. Then we went on to take over the wrestling business all the while using it as a front to get Donald Trump elected president.

Chance pulls his head up. He looks into the bluest eyes he’s ever seen. Crank searches her eyes for the slightest sign of deceit. She suddenly licks the side of his face then kisses him deeply. Fans are now stopping in front of the booth to photobomb the two. Chance breaks the embrace.

I just met you… How can I trust some whore I just met? I mean who the fuck are you, lady? Trump!? What the fuck?

Pixe drapes her arms around Chance’s neck while and begins to whisper in his ear.   

I quit the business for this. I paid off a comicon employee to ensure I got this spot next to you, Chance Von Crank. I’m the kind of bitch that will ride and die. I know you want me. I can see it in your eyes. Every man standing in line at my booth wants me. Only… You can have me.

Chance doesn’t blink as he continues to stare into her eyes. He tries to fight her off but reluctantly gives in.

So you wanna be my bitch, that’s it?

Pixie uses her tongue to spell out, “YES” across Crank’s forehead. One fan passes out the other side of the table after watching this. Pixie stands up out of his lap.

Chance, send for me after you get settled in DEFIANCE. It’s our time.

Crank’s face reads confusion from her last statement. He does not understand how she has any idea he has signed with DEFIANCE. Two souls know about the signing neither being Pixie Paradoxx. She blows him a kiss and he notices a tattoo across the back of her hand, “Chance”.



January, 4th, 2016

(Present Day)

11:20 a.m.

New Orleans, LA

Chance Von Crank walks down Bourbon street. He is heading for a small shop. cVc the day before sent for Pixie Paradoxx. Her valet duties are now secure. She claimed over and over on the phone two days prior, the two had to see a certain witch doctor in New Orleans. Chance cuts a corner to get to the shop quicker. He approaches it and notices a bright head of hair. It’s dyed many different colors and dressed all casual stands, Pixie Paradoxx. Men and women alike all check her out as she waits in front of the shop. Her big sunglasses would look silly on any other face but she pulls it off. Chance rushes up behind her and grabs her around the waist. She flips him over her back and he lands in front of her on the sidewalk.

Ohhh fuck! I’m sorry baby I thought you was another fan trying to rape me.

Crank is shocked by the strength of this female. She helps him up and he gets his first glimpse of the Witch Doctor's window decals. The pair walk into the shop and through beads hanging just through the front door.

“Holy Shit”, exclaims Crank.

The whole space is jam packed full of various voodoo items. Behind a small counter, stands an older black woman. The woman watches Crank closely. She can sense the evil within her shop almost immediately. Pixie walks up to the counter and begins speaking a language foreign to Chance. The witch doctor shakes her head and replies in the same language to Pixie. She responds by reaching in her designer purse to retrieve something. She retrieves a ziplock bag with a hairbrush inside that’s full of hair.

Pixie, what is that?

She hands the bag over to the Witch Doctor, who immediately goes to work.

That came a long way to get here. One of my old girlfriends frequents political events in Iowa. She nabbed that from a table that was left unattended. It cost me a pretty penny.

Chance is a bit confused by the whole scene unfolding before him. He watches the witch doctor take the hair from the brush. She carefully does this and begins whispering a chant in her language. Then she begins gathering sewing supplies. The Witch Doctor moves to a small table in the center of the cramped shop. Pixie and Chance both watch on.

What is she doing?

Pixie watches the woman closely. She replies,

She is crafting our future, babydoll. This time we ensure victory. We are both characters in a world run by the rich yet ravaged by all. It’s time we made some real change.

Chance continues to circle the older woman. He watches as she lays out six pieces of material she has just sewn. They appear to be the outline of a small doll of some sort. She begins to sew the head onto the body using the hair as stitching. Crank suddenly looks over at Pixie as the two lock eyes.

I have to take Keyes out.

Pixie shakes her head and walks around the table. She slowly sways side to side shaking every asset she has. The heels click on the wooden floor as she heads towards Crank.

You are already cocked back and fuckin’ loaded. We will get him and that whore too. Don’t you worry about that, Sugar.

Pixie and cVc watch as the witch doctor puts her finishing touch on the doll. The pants suit and distinct haircut tells Crank the whole story. A Hillary voodoo doll? The old woman carefully hands the doll to Pixie and reaches a hand out towards Chance. He figures out she wants cash so he retrieves his wallet quickly. He pays her then turns back towards Pixie. She looks up at him.


We can’t let that bitch win, Chance. My dream told me to do this and everything in the dream has come true. This doll is identical to the one from my dream. We only use this if she starts to defeat Trump. Until then we must keep it safe. This is no toy but key to victory.

Pixie nods at the old women. The witch doctor gives her a warning that anything she does with doll will come back on Pixie three fold. Pixie takes the doll and sticks it down her bust.


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