Title: FIST or bust
Featuring: Jonny Booya
Date: March 21, 2015
Location: fag

In some posh suburban New Orleans enclave of which I'm too lazy to find a name for, Jonny Booya was granted a luxury loft apartment by Edward White and his dirty money.

With White being in prison, Booya's days in luxury are numbered.  Whether he's self-aware enough to realize this is questionable. 

Right now, the loft apartment is adorned with a weight bench and a few piles of rusty plates lying around.  How it is that Jonny Booya can memorize and follow a workout routine is unknown.  The weight plates are rusty probably because Booya read on some forum or in a magazine somewhere some article about a bodybuilder bragging about how shitty the gym he started lifting in was, and so he left his weights out on the weather to get rusty because he thought that would make him more badass.

Yes, Jonny is stupid enough to think that.  He is not, however, illiterate.  There's a fine line between Booya-stupid and stoopid-stupid.

Anyway, this afternoon wouldn't be any different from any other afternoon.

"HHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!"

Jonny Booya is doing bicep curls.

"HHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!"

Luckily, his phone waits until he's done using his lungs as lifting support to go off, and he hears it.  Dropping the bar with a crash that's sure to be brought up during his eviction proceedings, he reads the message.

"TH' FUCK!?"

-----------------------------------------

Some time later, in Kelly Evans' office, an unfortunate intern listening to her messages bears witness to this.

"TH'FUCK AH AINT GET MAH FIST SHAWT?!"

The poor intern flinches back as the voice projector rattles around on the desktop.

"EDWARD GAWDDAMN WHITE HARED THAT MIDGET AN' HIS DAGGUM DIEGOS TA WIN ME THA FUCKIN' FIST AN THEY DONE IT WRONG!  AN NOW A NERRRRDS GOT MAH BELT AN AH AIN'T EVEN GOT A MATCH!"

The intern is torn between fear and hilarity.

"AH DONE GODDUM WARNED KELLY EVANS BOUT WHATS GONNA HAPPEN IF'N SHE DIDN'T PAY HER DUES TO BIG KING COOL - that bein' ME - AN SHE DID'IN - AN NOW IT'S GONNA HAPPEN AH TELL YOU FUCKIN' WHAT!"

*slam*

The intern, with a nervous deep breath, picks up the phone himself and dials 4 digits.

"Miss Kelly? It's Dave. I just got a message that I don't think I'm up to dealing with.."



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